bello-distraction(s)

kept on a

(misspelled)

leash                             (p) lease

(stay close)                        

until choked

to death

bello distractions

wander

laps

brush off snow

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no ease, but the end’s in sight

I brought the mala you gave me

(one christmas)

to the alter

shrine

not as worship

to show all the red strands

stretched around a red notebook

and never the same

i place stones on an alter

to protect the dead and the living

always cycling

empty                                             space

 

I called you friend

and weeks later you respond and

i realize our passion has transformed into

needles and bows

leading class initiations

wondering what my voice sounds like

who what where

i am always searching

the room for your face

and i ask

“what’s your name”

even though it’s not you

it could be

 

 

today i asked myself

the question

i couldn’t believe the answer

tears

and then you called

(of course)

as though you knew

perhaps you heard me

and couldn’t believe me either

 

 

before the end

i said, i love you

you said, i love you

in case that’s the last

after fear freak out

cancer

talks