Alive mountain falling rain: Seven Years

It’s not that there are no words for this
Becoming another year
Letting another year in
and in the space between this breath and what I’m trying to tell you

On deathdaytime I call your wife
Fourth and fifth
Minutes after the last tear
The last time I saw you: a quarter past noon

I am seeing you again for the first time:

I am walking down a mud path
There is a give in the step
The wind whispering home and all I feel are tears
My heart swells at the thought
There on the left and right
Facing sky
A tree god
A sculpture of death and decay and chaos and life and birth

When I am this close to you I almost feel small and meek

When I am this close I remember to place my hand on your chest to feel your heart beat

I want to go to a place where my heart never stops

white hairs
f a l l i n g off my body. They keep saying surrender.

Climbing over standing on a triangle

I stare off into the distance and think about falling

I look down and wonder about the lightness

Alive mountain falling rain
I am alive and you are not
I am alive and you are not here
I am here and you are not
I am not gone
You are gone
Beyond all this reason

Alive mountain falling rain
We are alive
Alive mountain falling rain
We are here

Wherever you are, may you be loved, remember we are love. This moment is love. May you be healthy, happy and free from suffering.