Roses on a birthday: Gesture


Dear Gesture

Thank you for playing poetry with me. So happy the Doubling issue is live! Such a gift to be in community and excavate utopia

Infinite thanks and love,


This birthday time has revealed family, lost and long lost friends, mentors, teachers and so many magical moments that my writing is speechless. A simple thank you with all my heart, all my love to you will have to do for now. 

And perhaps this is why we write and give birth to new ideas, new books, new life. 

Look at all the new life that grew while I was away. Searching for home. Trying to see if I still fit into colorful graffiti crevices, down by the river that is cement and shit. 



After two weeks on the road

After heart beat bloody sore

all i can do is breathe deep

feel the breath expand and contract. 

Sitting with Gram and all the other guests, I sang, “we didn’t make blood.”

I light a candle at an altar and pray for my Gram and Mamig. I visit the cemetery an hour before the gates are locked and speak to my Grams. Where are you? I know you’re here somewhere. I am one of few alive on a rainy Thursday wandering East L.A. cemetery hills before rush hour. Searching for ghosts. 

I had a deathday of my own and drove home for my birthday. There are so many unexpected moments that end with a kiss. 

In California the roses are in bloom. 

It’s colder here. Rhododendrons burst first. It rained almost all day and today i look out and see lush rainforest sway.