…and never let me go
…and never let me go
The first time, it happened on Friday the 13th. A holiday. How can we plan anything? Arrive. Drive first. Forward. South. Arrive and have hotpot in the Richmond. Breathe in the salt. Squint in the sun or there may be fog.
At the end and beginning: there are wedding and engagement parties to sing.
Long Live Love.
I watch as his lungs fill and slowly release. Expand and let go. Oxygen rich.
He is full of love. He is love. He is love. He loves. He loves. He is full of love.
In sunshine the body rises and falls. He is warmed, he is basking in sunbaked heaven.
These moments ask me to stop. To observe. To feel my heart break at the thought.
And then, it’s all now. It’s all here. He is love. We are love. He loves. I love. You love.
Sidewalk bars on a Sunday. Watching him breathe in and look out.
We love. We love. We love. [Even if we’re shivering in summer.]
Here lies the heart of the matter.
Captivated by beauty.
We were walking along ocean and together we could sense the fallen.
We sang burial songs as the rains wash the body.
We returned the body to the earth.
The sparrows speak and blue heron wingspan around my shadow.
It’s been too long. I keep writing. I keep saying. I’d love to…
Go home. I keep trying. Home. I call home. I reach home. I go home.
For so many weeks, years, we kept trying. Our love was a lifetime. We sink into the earth. The earth reaches in and soothes our hearts. The mud extracts the back body’s ache.
I keep trying to sing.
Only these songs can. When I’m home, I’ll sing.
They are Goddesses, Gods. They love. They are Sun and Moon. Earth and Sky.
He says, Sky, I say, Earth. We feel Body.
Body go home. Return Earthbody.
So high, i couldn’t see until i could. We step outside “I.”
We step inside and see. We cry at first thought: you have never seen through my eyes. You, privilege. You, white. You, academic. You, nurse. You cry because you cannot see.
We step sideways and notice our swerve. We swerve. We linger in spaces open spaces open.
I’m not telling you this to mourn the loss of love. When love is not in, not in love, not inside love, where then is love? Where does love lie?
Body go home. Return Earthbody. Our love is released.